♥
never really felt like this before. felt like i really want to aim for something. at the beginning of the year, i was driven by the motivation that i wanted to see her previous year. then the motivation held on till it was about during the june period where i really lost the momentum to study and really played all the way.
until now i have been continuously playing not to mention even 2 hours ago or 1 hour ago. then before i bathe, i really sat on the floor and ponder. i really have never ponder like this for very long. seriously. i began to think back the times when i lived with my mother, those happy times, those times which i thought i was smarter than her in terms of pronounciation. it was the best. it was the best impression of her for me. those times which allowed me to sat on her lap, and talk to her.
then thinking back the way i am slacking right now, the way i am not doing anything right now, i really dropped. it was like i really fell to a bottomless pit. then these words came to my head. "if you fall, you pick yourself up." it felt as if my mother was just right beside me, whispering those words to me. i just decided my motivation for my life. I AM GOING TO GET AS MANY SCHOLARSHIPS AS I CAN JUST FOR MY MOTHER. this is what my resolve will be for the years ahead. even if i forget this, i will forever THIS VERY DAY which i fell.
4:04 PM
