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probably i have been too anxious, probably i have been too irritating, probably, i dont know you that much, probably i dont understand you, probably.... probably...
it seems that everything was a lie, a lie which was consists of nothing else but lies. looking at everything outside, i am so wishing to say hello, but inside of me deprived me of my expressions. i feel so sian... should i continue or should i temporaily end it now...
i dont know what to write leh... maybe got a lot of homeworks that's why... haas... i think i'm going to study chem now.. ciaw ciaw~~
3:16 PM
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just opened my mailbox. saw this message given by thien sen. first impression was nothing much lahs. it is like: you have been kicked out of ccf(putting it in a very negative way). kelly said it cause she look at our timeline and then she say cannot=.= so it is kind of expected la. for me that is. i know i seriously havent been contributing much to ccf. i am deeply apologetic for that lors. i mean when i joined seeting, weizhe and thien sen that time, i wasn't thinking much. i thought: ah heck it! just join for fun lor. never did i expect that we got through the first round but was eliminated by ymca for the second round. nevertheless, i still felt happy, probably, cause i can still carry on with my homework. but it is like kind of being toyed around by them so it is rather *fishing*.
llately i am so kind of in no mood to study. i don't know why but i will do my best. if i can shine, i will polish up my skills, i will refine them, i will do better. but still i am still looking at manga. haiz. need to hand up aq tomorrow leh. shit!
i saw an 8 year old indian boy holding a 6-7 year old indian girl. probably they are siblings that's why they can still hold hands. i may want to ask you two question. shit! why i didn't ask u that day during oreintation.. wtf... you were just right there... haiz. should i just relax a bit and carry on with my studies?
10:16 PM
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just came back from walk with bigger brother. told him that i was like falling in grades, really couldn't understand why. why is my resolve gone? i don't understand.
today got back my maths and chem marks for both assignments. maybe i was really too arrogant. i just decided to go ahead of all teachers tutorial lesson, and not do homework, while doing the homework at the wrong place and time. i really need to gear up a bit.
i was talking to my brother a while ago about the comparison between bike's bigger rim and smaller rim as well as the suspension. then i just told him about what i feel and he just said that he didn't know i was this smart??!=.=" i mean it's like hey! everyone we understand everything. it is just that we needed a little creativity and explore the things around us. if you look at it carefully, physics is all around us, and the physics that we are studying now is just with added equations and variables to consider. integration in maths is the same. the derivation of simpler things that we learnt in secondary school. everything is just by using a pinch of creativity.
then again i thought about it, we need to make choices. choices are so potent. they seem so deadly, causes us to think so much, makes a fun out of us. i don't know, it is so painful. choices even have to be gone through our head before we do any action. if, if it so happens that action comes first then your thoughts and choices, it would seem wrong. i don't know about how you readers would think but this is how i feel.
i feel that i want to talk to you, but i don't know why i can't have the urge to talk to you. if i have the chance i will. i will. i will say hi to you. i will!
10:04 PM
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yeah. today is a fine day i guess. hahs. had quite a bit of dreamless nights lately. when i woke up, i went with my bro to eat lunch together. when i came home, brother told me that he had taken one of the boxes that was lying on the floor to store his things. i felt kind of screwed cause that box that he took was rather good cause it's long. so i just took the fatter box and realised that i need to vacuum the box and the room. in the end, i ended up vacuuming the whole living room plus my bedroom.
i had kind of no choice cause my dad asked me to clear up the papers that were all over the floor. and so i did, which made me vacuum for 1.5 hours. furthermore, the packing of the papers into the box took approximately 30 mins, in which i completed around 2 plus, then i started studying.
when i open the newsweek and read the first article, i had to spend like 2 hours reading it. mainly it was due to three reasons. firstly, there were like 15 words which i dont understand the meaning. so i glanced through dictionary.com and searched for the meaning of those words. plus, i couldn't resist the temptation of trying to surf the net. hence, i opened folders, websites, songs, and many more, which distracted me. secondly, i slept a while here and there. so time was flying by~
thirdly, i also i went to look for liang wen fu's song. it made me sort of interested in xin yao. and as for now, i am listening to zhou chuan xiong song. his songs were nostalgic because they were songs that i listened to while i was studying during primary school and
while talking her. ineviteably i would sleep from the fatigue that i had experienced in primary school. furthermore, most of the time, i was alone at home. so i could do this. right now in front of me is the gp homework. and have just read finished the comprehension only! GOSH! guess i have to quickly finish it up. cyas~
translated version::
今天感到很开心， 因为我做了许多事。哈哈，最近睡觉时也并没有做什么梦， 而今天起来时，我和我大哥去吃午餐。 回来时，我大哥跟我说为了装他的东西，他就从客厅的地上拿了其中的一箱盒子。 我当时感到气愤因为那个盒子又长，又有一点高，方便收文件夹。但是，我并不能怪他，因为是我没有早点儿拿那箱盒子。所以，我没办法只好拿另一个来装地上扑满的纸。然而，我发现我必须打扫盒子才能把东西放进去，最终，我把整间客厅与我的房间打扫得干干净净。我在打扫和装好纸时，大概两个小时已经过了。仅仅打扫整间客厅与房间已需要一个小时半，又把纸装进盒子里许要三十分钟。
打扫完后，我已经精疲力尽，还得把功课做完是另一个困难。在功课上，我也花费了不少的时间。由于在做英语功课，我拿出了newsweek，翻开到第四页，把前读到后。出乎意料，我有许多字不懂因此必须到词典找。做了这些作业后也已经到了四点。真没想到啊！两片报章报道也必须花费两个小时才能完成！
也许都是以下三个理由吧。其一，我用的是网上词典。而我无法抵抗网络的诱惑，耳濡目染地开始在网上找歌，在别人的博客上看他们写些什么，找啊，看啊... ... 其二，由于打扫了整间房，精疲力竭，我也感到累了，渐渐地，渐渐地映入了睡眠。
最后，最近从苏瑞福老师所播过梁文福的歌感到兴趣，因此在他的熏陶下在网络上寻找新谣。那现在就在听周传雄的歌；常常听到他的歌都会回想我小时候五年级在电脑面前一边听歌，一边做功课。那时候真的很开心，而当时父母都为我们这个家庭努力赚钱。然而，在我眼前就是我办完成的英文功课！哎呀！真是的，我只不过才刚读完那篇文章。再见啦，我得尽快地完成这个功课！
5:21 PM
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hahas i can't wait for kj reply when it is monday. woot~ kj and eddy went with the you-know-you-know group. hahas it should be quite paiseh la... but even tho the group still has....
hmph.. chem i couldnt get full marks. what the hell! kind of screwed two marks. i don't know. everything is so blur now. i feel so sleepy while my arms are still conscious. yesterday kj asked me to stay back to wait for him while he complete his chinese, at the same time to wait for her. i don't know. i didn't see her in the dance room. haiz but i still had to come home to eat dinner with my family members. aiya... just study hard XD
6:58 PM
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hahs.. in mac at yew tee now... dots... there is an exam tml.. chem intro to organic... trying to suppress the pile of hmwk... this way then i can catch up to you.. physics i got 12/25? has... kind of expected though.. never really studied much. i really hope that my intro to organic chem i can get full marks... that way...
nvm.. tml got soccer.. kj worhs... he is going to ahem ahem the bdae... nvm next mon going to know what happen to him~
please let me do better this time round for the test... i just dont want... ... aiya... nvm everyone, just gambatte and do well.. dont give up till the end.. no matter how many times you fall you will stand up... PROVE INFINITE +1 ... ! hahas..
9:11 PM
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hmph... tired... seems like it is like this everyday... kj going to get into action liao... watching him get so anxious makes me wonder...
life's so full of dots... ... ... chinese kind of bad... hope someone can help me...
so feel like playing bejeweled... aiya lifes sso..
7:52 PM
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lately i have been splurging on food which i dont know why.. probably just hungry... probably just to drown the sorrow in my heart... probably to experience life.. life is full of probability...
what else.. i saw pamela and hwee leng at the lot one while walking with ck, susu, amira and xuanyin.they said they were slacking at lot one..
what about me??? it seems that i am always slacking.. everytime the wish to complete homework is drowned away by the technologies around me... i seem to get distracted easily.. i know... probably i would just stay at school and study... lately just too tired... i can even sleep in sureesh class... omfg... aiyo... but nvm la... he also not so much of bothered... tml having spa chem... a levels huh.. guess there is no escaping from it... boohoo... i am constantly being pulled away by the computer to do many things... watch manga, games... surfing net... oh... on a lighter note.. just hope that i can really seriously get into the mood for studying .... i dont want to... i never.... never hope to... just dont want to... ... ... ...
11:11 PM
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i have said it le... i guess i just bang straight into A's for now...
anyway... i just came back about 10pm from my cip thingy.. had to do for 3hrs...hmm.. guess i can do a diary on it... not here though..quite tired bahs... still got lotsa homework but i will jiayous... i will not lose...
永不放弃，失败是成功之母。
11:39 PM
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i am screwed... totally tired too.. dont feel like handling up the aq thingy... doing it... sucks.. wanted to wait for her today while she completes her chem olympiad... but problem is like i dont know where she is and what time she finishes... wanted to talk to her after that cause kinda ... when talked with her with her friends around... tupid suresh la... walao... haiz... aiya.. so while waiting... i help ck and thien sen cut out the words, names.... pw too... haizzzz...
should i just tell when i have the chance to.... everytime i see you, you seem to be with your friend... haizzz....got to go toa payoh tml cause got some training.. walao... fuke... i want to be at school but the school purposely dont let me be at school... haiz...
9:24 PM
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shag... came back from school about 5 hours ago... then have to chiong out to eat with family... just too tired went totally blacked out when i was in the bus. kind of lucky today though, cause mr koh like helped to push my the shuttle run timing.. so i was rather glad for that. however, i dont know... just wondering... i'll see tomorrow.. then stayed backed at school to 6 to help out in the decorations for the national day thingy... wondering... had a major job... TO DRAW OUT THE NAMES IN HOWEVER I LIKED... still it was fun and tiring... imagine you had to maintain the same style and same size for each character and each word... FOR 26 HUMAN BEING NAMES... wondering... haiz... nvm i just got them done with....
haiz... tml have ap gp test.. tml i am ... **** ... haiz... shag la... many things i dont know if it should be told... i am afraid that it would just happen like how i do not wish for it to happen... the next topic for my weekly diary... * what would be children thinking? *
一分耕耘，一分收获。
11:30 PM
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every hour, every minute, every second, every instant... i dont know these times popped up your images. aiyo... i dont know what to do leh... shiet... so lost for words.. i just came back from the ptm thing... i guess i need to set my chinese out right... so tired that yesterday slept for the whole night which made me have to complete it by this morning. so lucky that i managed to scramble out a few words and phrases... my aim to try to ace chi probably is to learn some chinese proverbs then like try to use them. chinese teacher say my the chinese is like english chinesse translation... so i guess i need to work that out too..
other than that... i also need to break my social barrier too.. take more looks at her... congratulate her in anyway... but in any case if i have to tell her i like her... i want to face to face tell her... i dont want to let her know from a third party... cause if it is like that then there is no meaning to everything. haizz....i will end it with this phrase.... i will not lose you anymore, i will tell you face to face, no running for me...
2:08 PM
