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i have just learnt how to spell minuscule for real.=.="
its a dusty day cause i was clearing my cupboards to shift around my stuffs to reduce the number of items on the floor- papers. i totally cleared one mini cupboard for like 3 whole hours and now im still not done=.=" holy... but most of the files and papers have been cleared on my desk for my brother to use. but its no hurry. besides he is also having holiday now, so i can still take my time. but crappy stuff here and there on my table..
i went through my papers on chinese( i still kept them in my wardrobe=.=") and i realise that my freaking mandrin is super bad. maybe others will say that in ns i will not study or whatever, but i wont be sure about that. i flipped through the composition that i had writen in the later part of the year and gleamed through what the teacher had wrote. it shook me. i found that i like to infuse conversations to the compositions to bring in life. and there it is. my next aim- to write scripts involving conversations.
its time to start gearing up for the training. i just ran in my evening and my legs are wobbly by now. i thought about this through while i was running and the whole time while i was doing nothing:
is quarelling and fighting really necessary??
probably it is true since talking had even little help. i really feel helpless. every time the blood simply boils like nobody's business when i even try to talk about certain things. talking, or rather what i thought is useful, seems totally powerless. probably it is a kind of norm for some of you, but to me it isnt. people would say that running is not an option to resolving issues, and one should attempt to talk. but lets say if the person just dont want to talk.. everything will seem meaningless. quarelling and fighting in the end seems to be inevitable in the end- talking will be just be the weakest link.
that aside.. friends.. i felt that i was alone at times. the feeling that you are alone just cant be shaken off. i tried not to think too much but then the friends that i have.. what should i do to cherish them. i cant think anymore. i am totally exhausted. i feel that i arent doing good enough. i feel that in the past, probably now, or in the future, i had been/ am/will be leaving them in the lurk, seemingly as if they are disposable.. i dont want to feel that way... darn... hoping that the solution would come to me and that now i wont think too much..
anyways to make up for the dull wallpaper that i have for my blog, im gonna add something to it so as to brighten it up!
10:30 PM
